1. My husband is not a cockroach.
If I had woken up next to Kafka’s “monstrous vermin,” I would have run and sprayed an entire can of Raid into the bedroom. As it was, I thought the six foot rabbit crouched under the covers was a very elaborate (it even included nose twitching) joke, even though it wasn’t Easter, April Fools, or Halloween. Nor had David ever done anything remotely similar in our twelve years of marriage. It was only when he didn’t come down for breakfast that I started to worry.
2. The ward members have been very supportive.
Nobody has said that we brought this on ourselves through sinning. The Relief Society has been bringing in meals (is there any problem they don’t solve with food?) and my visiting teachers helped clean up all the droppings (bless their souls). Our home teachers took David in their truck to the doctor, then the veterinarian, and back again. Even with all the tests, we still have no clue what happened.
3. The kids enjoy bunny back rides.
Hyrum begs for a ride at every opportunity. Lydia fashions all sorts of pretend saddles, reins, and collars. When Noah fell off last night though, he wanted nothing to do with bunny kisses to make it better. He just screamed that he wanted daddy back. David then sulked in our room for the rest of the evening.
4. Our yard has never been trimmer.
David hated mowing the lawn before. Now, it’s become part of his daily diet, which really helps with the grocery bill. I just wish he didn’t have to scare off certain dogs that were out on walks. You would think the stupid creatures would pick on something their own size.
I stare at the computer screen for several minutes, but I am still unable to come up with another blessing to add to my list. Finally, I close that document and open up my resume. I tweak the fonts, but it doesn’t change the fact that the space under experience is as blank as blessing #5.